" ... I remember it being a regular occurrence, that it was something that was going on all the time.
What do you mean, it was going - what's 'it'? What sort of contact are we talking about?---Him trying to touch me at any available moment it seemed. If mum was taking showers, he'd try and touch me, touch my breast, try and kiss me on my lips. There were times when mum would be taking showers and I'd be in bed with him in their bed. They'd have the television on, mum would be around at the time. She'd go in and take a shower and he'd try and touch me and try and do things then. I remember lots of times that that would happen, that mum would be taking a shower. I remember feeling uncomfortable about it, but also at the same time it was - it was like, it would just be a frequent occurrence of things. I'd feel under pressure.
You felt under pressure, of what form? How do you mean?---That he was - that he was in control of what was going on. He was in control of what I thought. It was, it was just life, that's what was happening, and I was going along with him doing those things, him trying to make me feel special or important or whatever, so there was mixed emotions of feeling not comfortable about it, but at the same time not wanting to upset him. A lot of the family, and this is going back to very, very early stages, was, you know, mum - you know, 'Go and make him a cup of tea' and 'Go and sit on his knee' and 'Go and' - you know, 'Make sure that', you know, 'that he was happy', that he was happy about taking care of us. That was huge pressure of feeling like, holding this family together, because there was going to be nothing else. I felt like, you know, I loved him because he was my father and he was in our house and my brother; I loved my brother, I loved my mother, and all this time there was also, you know, just feeling under pressure about keeping all of this together. There was definitely a feeling of wanting a happy family, of, like, wanting to feel special, wanting to feel - not wanting to upset that, you know, and that's also - so many reasons about not saying anything to anyone about what was happening in the house because - who were you going to say anything to? Like, how were you going to get out of there and also at the same time thinking, feeling that pressure about keeping that family together, because - and I think for a lot of reasons wanting, you know, wanting a happy family, like wanting - I remember telling friends all the time about how close I was to my, you know, my stepfather, but my father who was in my house now, so much closer to him than my mother, like wanting everybody else to think of it as, you know, a happy family, so on the exterior I was happy to everybody, you know, like I was always trying to make everyone else happy and what - all the other stuff that was going on was either not happening to me, because I block it out of - I'd not try and think about it, but it was - I guess that's how you deal with it at the time. You know, it's like you go along with those things because that's just life ... "