Thompson v The Public Trustee of New South Wales
[2010] NSWSC 1137
At a glance
Source factsCourt
Supreme Court of NSW
Decision date
2010-09-30
Source
Original judgment source is linked above.
Judgment (32 paragraphs)
Background Facts 26 I set out some history of the Plaintiff and of the deceased. I am satisfied that the following facts are either not in dispute or each has been established by the evidence: (a) The Plaintiff was born in July 1957 and is presently aged 53 years; (b) The deceased was born in December 1941 and was aged 65 years at the date of her death; (c) The deceased's son, Michael, was born in September 1969; however, he died, in 1991, at the age of 22 years; (d) The deceased's daughter, Martine, the residuary beneficiary, was born in June 1970; she is aged 40 years; (e) The Plaintiff has never been married, and as far as he is aware, he is not the father any child; (f) The Plaintiff finished Year 10 at Marcellin College, Randwick; (g) Between October 1974 and August 1984, the Plaintiff worked at Readers Digest as a machine operator, storeman and sorter; whilst working at Readers Digest, he met the deceased; (h) The Plaintiff's relationship with the deceased commenced in about 1981. At that time, the deceased was married to David Cawley. At first, the relationship of the Plaintiff and the deceased was a sexual one only; (i) The deceased and her husband separated in 1985. She and the Plaintiff then moved in together; (j) In 1987, the deceased's father purchased a property for the deceased at Edinburgh Road, Marrickville ("property 138"). The Plaintiff assisted in the renovations of that property and when those renovations were completed, the deceased moved in. Until he moved in, the Plaintiff would stay at property 138 about four nights a week; (k) In March 1999, the Plaintiff sold property 138 for $253,000; (l) In 2003, the deceased's father died and the Plaintiff moved in with her mother at another property in the same street (the Marrickville property); (m) In 2003, the Plaintiff moved into the Marrickville property and assisted the deceased in looking after her mother; (n) In September 2004, the Plaintiff applied for a carer's pension in respect of his mother; (o) In August 2005, the deceased's mother died and the deceased inherited the Marrickville property, which was transmitted to her in December 2005; (p) In 2005, the Plaintiff's mother died; he inherited $100,000, which he had spent, by July 2009; (q) the legacy paid to him out of the deceased's estate has also been spent. 27 The Plaintiff asserted in his first affidavit, that "[I]n 1985, after the deceased separated from her husband … we commenced to live together and we lived together continuously and in the same residence until late 1997". He accepts that this evidence is wrong. Even without this concession, I would be satisfied that the Plaintiff and the deceased did not live together continuously and in the same residence, from at the latest, December 1992. In this regard, I note, by way of example, that in Ex 1, in the handwriting of the deceased, there appears, in relation to the Plaintiff, "Moved in on 18 August 1992" and "Des left 138 on Mon 26 Oct 92 owing rent + food money +electricity". 28 It is also clear that the Plaintiff told Centrelink, at different times, that he was not in a de facto relationship. (Statements to a government authority, apparently inconsistent with a party's case, may complicate the resolution of the issue of the nature of the relationship, but they are not determinative. They are taken into account as part of all the circumstances: Bar-Mordecai v Hillston [2004] NSWCA 65 (at [118]); Hayes v Marquis [2008] NSWCA 10 (at [99]).) 29 There is other evidence, which I accept, that the Plaintiff lived at different places for different periods of time, after December 1992. It is unnecessary to set out the different places at which he lived, and which he disclosed to Centrelink (see, Ex. 4 and the summary of pages relied upon). 30 There is no dispute that the Plaintiff lived apart from the deceased between late 1997 and mid 2000. 31 The Plaintiff asserts also, that from mid 2002 until after the deceased's death, he lived at the Marrickville property. Once again, it is accepted that this evidence is incorrect. I do not accept that he lived with the deceased continuously in that period. For example, it is clear that, throughout most of 2005, and until the middle of February 2006, the Plaintiff lived in his mother's property, at Bondi, although, on occasions, he may have visited the deceased at the Marrickville property or she may have visited him whilst he was living there. 32 There is really no dispute that the Plaintiff lived in the Marrickville property between about the middle of February 2006 until the deceased's death, and with the consent of the deceased's daughter, until about 2008. About 6 weeks after the deceased's death, he paid her daughter $280 per fortnight as rent. He also paid some of the electricity bills. There is no evidence that he paid any board or rent to the deceased in the period prior to her death. 33 There is a real dispute about the nature of the Plaintiff's relationship with the deceased in 2006. It is not in dispute that for most of this period, he slept in the front of the Marrickville property, whilst the deceased slept in the granny flat. However, the Plaintiff says that the reason for these sleeping arrangements was the state of health of the deceased; the Defendant says that those arrangements were demonstrative of the relationship. 34 The Plaintiff says that he owns a campervan ($10,000), has some household goods (with a value of $100) and has $5 in the bank. He owes his sister, Bridget Mulligan, $900, and her husband, Patrick, $4,000. He has some superannuation of a few hundred dollars but does not know the fund in which it is held. 35 The Plaintiff has relied upon an affidavit sworn 17 October 2009 from his sister, Bridget. Ms Mulligan states that the deceased kept in contact with her from the 1980's and that she expressed a keen interest in the Plaintiff and his family. She says that she was particularly concerned about the Plaintiff's mother and that the deceased would often speak to her by telephone. She says that the Plaintiff would come to her home at Christmas, the last such occasion being in 2005. 36 It became clear, from the oral evidence given by Ms Mulligan, that following the death of the Plaintiff's mother, proceedings were commenced by two of the Plaintiff's brothers seeking a family provision order out of her estate. Ms Mulligan was the sole Defendant in those proceedings. There is no dispute that in those proceedings, the Plaintiff did not apply for further provision. Bryson AJ heard those proceedings in May 2009 and the citation for the judgment delivered is [2009] NSWSC 399. 37 Although Ms Mulligan was unsure about the precise periods when the deceased and the Plaintiff lived together, and although some of the matters about which she gave evidence related to events that, undoubtedly, took place in the 1980's, I accept her evidence that she kept in contact with the deceased; that the deceased and the Plaintiff would attend family gatherings on "most Christmases", the last of which was in 2005; that the deceased enquired about the Plaintiff's mother; and that the Plaintiff and the deceased had lived together "off and on" since the 1980's and that "they'd been an item". 38 I also accept the evidence of Ms Mulligan that she heard the deceased and the Plaintiff discussing marriage. However, her evidence is that this was in the "1980's and 1990's a couple of times", and that on these occasions they were joking around. 39 Ms Mulligan also confirmed the evidence of the Plaintiff that he had been living at their mother's home, in Bondi, in 2005, and that after he had access to the legacy given to him by his mother, he used some of it to repay a debt to the deceased and to effect repairs to the Marrickville property. 40 There was a conflict of evidence between the Plaintiff's sister and the deceased's daughter as to a conversation said to have taken place after Christmas in 2006 regarding the sale of the Marrickville property. Ms Mulligan asserts that the deceased's daughter said that she was looking to sell that property and move to Wollongong and that the Plaintiff could move with her. 41 The conversation stated by Ms Mulligan was not denied in the affidavit of the deceased's daughter, although when it was put to her in cross-examination, she did deny that any such conversation had taken place. She said that she had never wanted to sell the Marrickville home. 42 I am more inclined to accept the evidence of the Plaintiff's sister on this topic. The conversation alleged occurred at a time shortly after the deceased's death. No doubt, at that time, the deceased's Will had been read and the terms of Clause 4 were apparent. It was likely that it was thought that the Marrickville property would have to be sold and that the proceeds of sale would be available to purchase another property in which the deceased's daughter could live. 43 The Plaintiff has relied upon an affidavit sworn 11 August 2010 from his friend, Alan Robert Sparks. Mr Sparks, who was not required to attend for cross-examination, states that he knew the deceased and the Plaintiff from before 1984; that he saw them reasonably regularly between 1984 and 2000: he considered them to be a couple; between 2000 and 2006, he saw them less frequently, although when he did, he still considered them to be living in a de facto relationship; that he spoke with the deceased a day or so prior to her death, and she said to him that the Plaintiff "is taking good care of me like a faithful old dog". 44 The Defendant has placed in evidence a copy of the Defendant's Will Information Form that is dated 1 December 2006. That document confirms the deceased's instructions stated in the Will that the legacy to the Plaintiff was "for support and care provided in the past years". It also confirms that the deceased's real estate (which, in the circumstances, should be taken to mean the Marrickville property) "to be sold and invested". 45 The Defendant relies upon an affidavit sworn 10 May 2010 of Jacques Rene Paul Mattei, the brother of the deceased and the father of two of the remainder residuary beneficiaries. He stated that, to his knowledge, the deceased had a number of different sexual partners in Sydney and elsewhere during the period after 1981; that he had met a number of them, one in particular, whom he identified as "Norm", whom, he said, the deceased had thought of marrying; he states that when the deceased permitted the Plaintiff to move into the Marrickville property, she did so because he had nowhere to live and had financial problems; that when there, the Plaintiff would assist the deceased in looking after their mother and that "this suited everyone". 46 Mr Mattei was cross-examined. He explained that he had been told by the deceased, on different occasions, that the Plaintiff was paying (or in some cases, was late in paying) board (the French word the deceased used really meant rent) to the deceased for his occupation of the Marrickville property; that he had been told that the deceased had once thought of leaving the Woodstock property to the Plaintiff, but had changed her mind; and that he had never seen the Plaintiff and the deceased being affectionate to one another. I accept his evidence as truthful. 47 The Defendant also read an affidavit of Norman Wong. Mr Wong was not required for cross-examination. He states that "although [the deceased] and I did travel together as a couple, sharing the one room, on a few short interstate holidays, and once to New Caledonia, our association was more a platonic relationship". Of course, he does not deny having a sexual relationship with the deceased. He also says that the deceased told him that she had lived with the Plaintiff for a number of years. 48 Overall, on the issue of the Plaintiff and the deceased having a common residence, I am satisfied that the deceased and the Plaintiff may have lived together for a period of time continuously in the 1980's, and that during that period, they were in a de facto relationship. However, after no later than December 1992, they did not live together, again, other than for relatively short and irregular periods, until early 2006. 49 It seems to me, looking at all of the evidence, that the deceased permitted the Plaintiff to move back into her home, on some occasions, after the end of their de facto relationship, and then, for different periods of time, and for reasons other than because they were in a de facto relationship. It seems to me that, in 2006, and at other times, it suited them both for the Plaintiff to be staying in the Marrickville property with the deceased. For example, in the period following the death of her father, the Plaintiff assisted the deceased looking after her mother, which assistance was acknowledged by her and by the deceased's family. The deceased provided the Plaintiff with a room and board during this period. 50 I turn to other relevant facts. In s 4(2)(a) of the Property (Relationships) Act 1984, "the relationship" cannot mean "the de facto relationship". As has been said by Campbell J (as his Honour then was) in Sullman v Sullman [2002] NSWSC 169 at [194]: The structure of section 4(2) is that one is required to take into account such of the matters listed in paragraphs (a) to (i) inclusive as might be relevant in the case, for the purpose of determining whether a de facto relationship exists. If "the duration of the relationship" is a factor to be taken into account in determining whether a de facto relationship exists, that means one must be able to tell what is "the duration of the relationship" before one has decided whether or not there is a de facto relationship. Thus "the relationship" in section 4(2)(a) must have a different meaning to "the de facto relationship". It seems to me that it involves a looser notion, under which the Court should take into account the duration of what is asserted to be the relationship, though also taking into account how the other factors listed in paragraphs (b) to (i) of section 4(2) might have changed during the course of that asserted duration of relationship. 51 Approaching the matter in this way, the duration of the relationship was from the early 1980's until the deceased's death in December 2006. However, during that time, in my view, the relationship underwent a change from a sexual relationship, to a de facto relationship, to a relationship of friendship. 52 The Plaintiff maintains that he continued to have a sexual relationship with the deceased from the time they met. It is probable that there was a sexual relationship between them, but it seems equally probable that he was not her only sexual partner. In this regard, I accept that the deceased did have a number of different sexual partners. 53 It also seems clear that the Plaintiff and the deceased had some financial interdependence. In Ex 1, the deceased complained that for part of the period he was living with her, he had not paid rent, or board, to her. The deceased's brother gave evidence, as did the deceased's daughter, of the Plaintiff paying rent or board to the deceased. 54 However, there is nothing in the evidence to lead to the conclusion that the Plaintiff and the deceased conducted any joint bank accounts (except for a short period in the 1980's) or that they acquired any property together. 55 I accept that the Plaintiff may have assisted the deceased, and later, her daughter, in maintaining the Marrickville property. The deceased's daughter asserted, however, that the deceased paid him for mowing the lawns. I do not think that any assistance by him was regular or substantial. 56 The deceased and the Plaintiff did not have any child, or children, to care for or support. There is no suggestion that the Plaintiff assisted in the care of the deceased's daughter. 57 There is a real dispute about the performance of household duties, the Plaintiff asserting that, at least, for the last 9 or 10 months of the deceased's life, he performed most of the duties associated with looking after her and the Marrickville property. The Plaintiff's daughter denies this. 58 I am of the view that the Plaintiff is likely to have assisted the deceased during this period, particularly as she was unwell, although that assistance may not have been to the level he suggested. Indeed, the deceased, in her Will, acknowledged "the care and support" that he had provided "in the past years". Therefore, I am satisfied that he did provide some care and support to her. 59 There is no doubt that the Plaintiff and the deceased were recognised as a couple by a number of people. The Plaintiff's sister recognised them as such (at least in the past), as did Mr Spence, who was not cross-examined. The deceased's family did not regard them in this way, however. I am concerned, in this regard, that any recognition as a couple which may have existed at one time, has become blurred, with such recognition at the date of the deceased's death. 60 I turn next to matters relating to the beneficiaries named in the deceased's Will. In Foley v Ellis [2008] NSWCA 288, Sackville AJA at [88] noted that Singer v Berghouse (No 2) [1994] HCA 40; (1994) 181 CLR 201 "… strongly suggests that the court cannot consider the propriety and adequacy (or inadequacy) of any testamentary provision for an applicant in isolation from the resources and needs of other claimants on the deceased's bounty. These claimants include other beneficiaries entitled to a share of the deceased's estate, whether or not they themselves have made a claim under the Family Provision Act." 61 I am satisfied that the following facts are either not in dispute, or have been established by the evidence in relation to Martine. She is currently unemployed, and receives Centrelink payments of $418 per fortnight. She does not receive any rent from her friend, although the friend assists her by paying some bills, and for food, and is likely to assist with the expenses for utilities. 62 None of the remainder beneficiaries has given evidence in the proceedings. None has made a claim under the Act as she and he is not an eligible person. 63 It is necessary to consider how the Plaintiff says that he has been left without proper provision for his maintenance, education and advancement in life. He presently lives in a campervan that is situated in his employer's car park. He pays $170 per week for the space. There are no shower or cooking facilities. He earns $370 per fortnight as a driver and receives $525 per fortnight from Centrelink. His expenses are said to exceed his income. He seeks provision that will enable him to buy a property in which to live, which is estimated to cost between $200,000 and $300,000, together with a capital sum which will enable him to meet the shortfall in income over expenses, take out private medical insurance, enable him to buy some necessary furniture, whitegoods and clothing. If he does not receive enough to enable him to buy a property, it has been submitted that he should receive a substantial legacy of $175,000. It is submitted that the deceased's daughter would still receive about $655,000. 64 Since the only other eligible person has made a claim under the Act, which was dismissed for lack of due despatch, and because she has been given notice of the Plaintiff's claim, I may disregard her interests: s 20 of the Act. I do not do so. She and each of the remainder beneficiaries named in the Will is a chosen object of the deceased's testamentary bounty and it is for them that the deceased wished to provide by her Will. She is also the only child of the deceased. 65 The Defendant's counsel submit that the Plaintiff should receive nothing additional out of the estate of the deceased. They submit that if he establishes eligibility, factors warranting the making of the application, obtains an order extending the time for the making of his application, he should not receive a capital sum, and that any amount he receives should be subject to a protective trust. 66 I have had the benefit of receiving a written outline of submissions from counsel for the respective parties. Those documents will be retained in the Court file. 67 I turn now to the questions that need to be determined. Eligibility 68 Under the Act, the classes of persons entitled to make an application are defined (see, s 6). Unless the Plaintiff can establish that he is an eligible person in relation to the deceased, he does not have the status to bring the present proceedings, and his claim, therefore, must inevitably be dismissed. He relies upon various subsections of s 6. 69 Section 6(1)(a)(ii) provides that in the Act, except in so far as the context or subject matter otherwise indicates or requires, "eligible person", in relation to a deceased person, means a person with whom the deceased person was living in a domestic relationship at the time of the deceased person's death. A "domestic relationship" is either a de facto relationship as defined in s 4, or a "close personal relationship" as defined in s 5(1), of the Property (Relationships) Act, 1984. A de facto relationship and a close personal relationship are mutually exclusive, in that a close personal relationship is defined as a relationship, other than a de facto relationship. It may be possible, however, for two people to satisfy each definition at different times, if the nature of their relationship changes. 70 In this case, the Plaintiff asserts that he was in a de facto relationship with the deceased for about 22 years. The existence of a de facto relationship is disputed and is the subject of most of the evidence called by the parties. The evidence on the issue is in conflict. Despite the conflict of evidence, the Defendant acknowledges the deceased's friendship and cohabitation, on occasions, with the Plaintiff. 71 In the alternative, it is submitted, on behalf of the Plaintiff, that he and the deceased were in a "close personal relationship" at the date of her death. A close personal relationship (other than a marriage or a de facto relationship) is one between two adult persons, whether or not related by family, who are living together, one, or each, of whom, provides the other with domestic support and personal care. 72 It is also submitted that the Plaintiff is an eligible person within s 6(1)(d) of the Act, in that he was a member of the household of which the deceased was a member and was wholly or partly dependent upon her. 73 I shall deal with each of these grounds of eligibility. De Facto Relationship 74 The expression "de facto relationship" is now common parlance in Australia. It evolved as both a comparison, and a contrast, with the relationship of marriage. A "de facto relationship" was, in ordinary parlance, a relationship which exhibited the characteristics of mutual commitment familiar in the relationship of marriage, save for the solemnities involved in the formal exchange of wedding vows between a man and a woman: KQ v HAE [2007] 2 Qd R 32 at [17]. 75 Section 4 of the Property (Relationships) Act 1984 (NSW) provides: 4 De facto relationships (1) For the purposes of this Act, a de facto relationship is a relationship between two adult persons: (a) who live together as a couple, and (b) who are not married to one another or related by family. (2) In determining whether two persons are in a de facto relationship, all the circumstances of the relationship are to be taken into account, including such of the following matters as may be relevant in a particular case: (a) the duration of the relationship, (b) the nature and extent of common residence, (c) whether or not a sexual relationship exists, (d) the degree of financial dependence or interdependence, and any arrangements for financial support, between the parties, (e) the ownership, use and acquisition of property, (f) the degree of mutual commitment to a shared life, (g) the care and support of children, (h) the performance of household duties, (i) the reputation and public aspects of the relationship. (3) No finding in respect of any of the matters mentioned in subsection (2)(a)-(i), or in respect of any combination of them, is to be regarded as necessary for the existence of a de facto relationship, and a court determining whether such a relationship exists is entitled to have regard to such matters, and to attach such weight to any matter, as may seem appropriate to the court in the circumstances of the case. (4) Except as provided by section 6, a reference in this Act to a party to a de facto relationship includes a reference to a person who, whether before or after the commencement of this subsection, was a party to such a relationship. 76 The legislation was recast, so that it no longer used the reference in the earlier definition to living together as "husband and wife", which terminology could lead to inappropriate search for analogies to the legal relationship of marriage. 77 It is clear, however, that the term constitutes a single composite expression of a comprehensive notion or concept. It must be approached by considering the expression as a whole and not in several parts: Simonis v Perpetual Trustee Co Ltd (1987) 21 NSWLR 677 at 685; (1987) DFC 95-052, at 75,589; Light v Anderson (1992) DFC 95-120; Bar-Mordecai v Hillston [2004] NSWCA 65, at [86], [125]; Hayes v Marquis [2008] NSWCA 10 at [73] - [74]. 78 The legislation does not provide a precise test for the existence of the de facto relationship. None of the matters listed in s 4 of the Property (Relationships) Act is of decisive significance. Some involve public aspects of the relationship and some private aspects. They all suggest a continuing course of conduct and behaviour, not an event at a fixed point of time. No matter how close the involvement in each other's emotional lives, a conclusion that people are living together as a couple involves consideration of the circumstances in which they are living, including the places at which they are living. The test is not primarily locational, but it has a locational element: Dion v Rieser [2010] NSWSC 50 per Bryson AJ at [14]. 79 In determining whether a de facto relationship exists, the court is often required to assess multiple pieces of circumstantial evidence. For this reason, the indicia set out in s 4 of the Property (Relationships) Act are inclusive, but not exhaustive. If there are sufficient pieces of evidence, when viewed cumulatively, and with common sense and proper reasoning, which satisfy the finder of fact that the relationship is a de facto relationship then the statutory test is met: Scragg v Scott [2006] NZFLR 1076 at [64]. Ultimately, the conclusion as to the existence, or otherwise, of such a relationship will turn on an evaluative assessment of matters of objective fact. 80 The concept of a de facto relationship was discussed by Gzell J in Ye v Fung [2006] NSWSC 243 at [64] and [65]: [64] A de facto relationship requires more than adult persons living together. They must live together as a couple. When one thinks of persons as a couple, one thinks of two people in a romantic relationship. That is the first meaning given in the Macquarie Dictionary (4th ed) with reference to people as a couple. The Oxford English Dictionary in defining the word in the sense of the union of two, or a pair, gives as its first meaning with reference to two people: 'A man and woman united by love or marriage; a wedded or engaged pair'. [65] In my view the words in the Property (Relationships) Act 1984, s 4(1)(a), in the context of the extension of relief under the Act to persons in a domestic relationship, connotes two adult unmarried persons living together, united by love, or living together in a romantic relationship. The effect of such a construction is that de facto relationships are confined to heterosexual and homosexual romantic relationships. 81 As was pointed out, however, in Re Estate of Sigg (dec'd) [2009] VSC 47 at [7]: In the case of Dow v Hoskins ([2003] VSC 206) Cummins J said that the determination of whether a person was living with the deceased should not be construed on narrow, formal, pedantic or merely geographical criteria, but should be considered taking into account the human reality of the personal, emotional and cultural complex. In that case his Honour took the view that he should approach the matter in that broader context. I agree with those observations and would add that it would be wrong to assume that the test of whether people are living in a genuine domestic relationship is to be judged against a model of a couple living together full-time, sharing fully domestic, financial and other responsibilities. That would place people claiming under these provisions at the very disadvantage which the provision is designed to remove. That would be so because people who are legally married live in married relationships in circumstances which vary dramatically from one couple to another, and it would be quite wrong to require that a couple seeking to invoke the provisions of s 51 should be judged by reference to a static model which may not bear a sufficient relationship to the reality of life and the diversity of arrangements existing between legally married couples. 82 Whilst the concept of a de facto relationship is complex and diverse, such a relationship can, and should, be distinguished from the relationship of two people, who live apart, but who have a sexual relationship, and who sleep over at one another's house; and also from the relationship of two people, who share a house, but who do not have a romantic commitment to each other and who have other sexual partners. The fact that one provides the other, on occasions, with financial, or other, assistance, such as accommodation, to alleviate hardship does not mean that they are in a de facto relationship. In this way, a de facto relationship is different from friendship, or courtship, which has not matured into the commitment where there is a merging of lives so that there is a mutual commitment to a shared life. It is also different from simple companionship. 83 It is important to note that there is nothing in the words of the Property (Relationships) Act that requires the parties to be in an exclusive relationship. Such a relationship can be established even where one, or both, parties are married to others, or in de facto relationships with others, at the same time: see, for example, Green v Green (1989) 17 NSWLR 343; (1989) 13 Fam LR 336. The de facto relationship may be more difficult to establish in such circumstances. 84 Often, as in this case, the parties' relationship may be seen as having gone through different phases. The facts applicable to those phases may be seen as having a bearing on the essential question whether the parties were in a de facto relationship at the date of death. The dominating factor will be whether the parties can be seen as living together as a couple at that time. One may, therefore, consider the facts of the parties' relationship in the different phases and then consider all of the facts. In this regard, there is no presumption, or inference, of continuance of such a relationship: S v B (No 2) [2004] QCA 449 at [2]. 85 The onus rests throughout the case on the person asserting the relationship to establish that continuance. Dutney J, in S v B, at [33] said: De facto relationships are by nature fragile. The robust institution of marriage survives until formally dissolved by legal process, even though the parties are no longer a couple and exhibit none of the observable indicia of a domestic arrangement. It has been recognised, however, that the persistence of those indicia are fundamental to the continuance of a de facto relationship. In Hibberson v George Mahoney JA, with whom Hope and McHugh JJA agreed, spoke of the de facto relationship as follows: There is, of course, more to the relevant relationship than living in the same house. But there is, I think, a significant distinction between the relationship of marriage and the instant relationship. The relationship of marriage, being based in law, continues notwithstanding that all of the things for which it was created have ceased. Parties will live in the relationship of marriage notwithstanding that they are separated, without children, and without the exchange of the incidents which the relationship normally involves. The essence of the present relationship lies, not in law, but in a de facto situation. I do not mean by this that cohabitation is essential to its continuance: holidays and the like show this. But where one party determines not to "live together" with the other and in that sense keeps apart, the relationship ceases, even though it be merely, as it was suggested in the present case, to enable the one party or the other to decide whether it should continue. 86 I have considered the use of the word "friend" in the deceased's Will, in describing the Plaintiff, since the Will was made shortly before the deceased's death. The use of the word is not determinative of the nature of the relationship, although, of course, it tends to suggest that she did not regard him as her de facto partner when she made her Will. Taking into account the whole of the evidence, I am of the view that the word accurately describes the relationship that existed at the date of her death. 87 I have also considered the outward appearance of the relationship as disclosed by Mr Spence and by the Plaintiff's sister. The relevance of outward appearances is what it may reveal about the relationship of the deceased and the Plaintiff with each other, but it must be recognised that outward appearances can be deceptive. 88 All of the cases in this area are fact dependent. As has been demonstrated from the facts in this case, the relationship between the Plaintiff and the deceased appears to have been an unusual one. If it was a de facto relationship as the Plaintiff asserts, then there is little of the intermingling of finances, pooling of income, joint attendance at family functions, and merging of lives that is often evident in such a relationship. 89 On the other hand, if there is no de facto relationship then the extended periods of cohabitation, albeit at different times, between the parties, the nature and extent of assistance each apparently gave to the other, and the existence of a sexual relationship between them, albeit, in the case of the deceased not an exclusive one, may be regarded also as unusual. 90 On balance, having seen and read the evidence of the Plaintiff and of the witnesses, I am of the view that the Plaintiff and the deceased were not living in a de facto relationship at the date of her death. I am satisfied that whilst they may have had such a relationship in the 1980's, it had ended by 1992. This does not mean that they did not have a residual affection for one another or that they did not continue to have a sexual relationship. 91 In this regard, in addition to the matters set out above, I found the following aspects important in coming to this conclusion: (a) The deceased's brother's evidence was that in about June 2006, when the deceased was very ill, she went to Queensland and stayed with him for a couple of months. The Plaintiff did not attend with her. The Plaintiff was not employed at this time. Reasons of employment, therefore, did not prevent him from going with her. That she chose, at a time so close to her death, to leave the Plaintiff in Sydney, and stay for at least one month, or perhaps two months, apart from him, suggests that they had not merged their lives at that time, to the necessary extent; (b) The deceased's brother's evidence was that when the deceased was with him, she did not talk about the Plaintiff; this would be extremely surprising if they were in a de facto relationship and if the Plaintiff was doing all that he said he was for the deceased; (c) There was no evidence that the deceased telephoned the Plaintiff, or otherwise communicated with him, at any time, during the period that she was in Queensland with her brother in 2006; (d) The Plaintiff's sworn evidence, which evidence was demonstrably wrong (see, Ex 4), that he and the deceased commenced living together in 1985 and that they lived together continuously and in the same residence until late 1997; (e) No hospital, or other, records relating to the deceased were produced which identified him as the de facto spouse of the deceased; in fact, there are no contemporaneous documents of any kind, in which he is described as such; Ex 4 discloses that the Plaintiff, at different times, stated that he was single and not in any de facto relationship; if there was such a relationship, he would have told lies to Centrelink. Close Personal Relationship