"Before pleading guilty on October 2, 2002, I was not given the chance to read the victim's statement. If so, I would have put him in the witness stand to tell the jury in person the details of how I sodomised him and put my whole hand in his bottom. Also many other critical details such as my supposedly doing sexual acts all night as he freely told the police while comfortably sitting in a chair and not from a hospital bed. A jury would have to suspect much of his story when faced with medical evidence proving this impossible after hearing a doctor's statement and being made aware of my physical and emotional state at that time.
My body would have seriously injured him and I simply could not have done so much that night on top of the exhaustion I was already feeling the evening of Friday 5 July. I was also ordered to undertake a psychiatric assessment before a court hearing which was never done.
My solicitor, Robert Young, simply told me that the victim's statement was 'unavailable' even up to the day of sentencing.
At the time I was, and still am, an emotional wreck. At the time I strongly believed I would be dead from AIDS in a year or two so I could not see the point of a long court case for nothing anyway. I fully believed when I asked, that no mention had been made of me actually raping the boy: 'Only your fingers' I was told. If I had even done that I felt I deserved to be in gaol for the time it took me to die. I believe that I did take awful photos, but I now do not believe everything else I do remember being charged with. I assumed all this happened the same evening I blacked out or the next morning. Definitely NOT all night. Several times I have 'lost' about 36 hours - eg going to sleep at 9 am on a Sunday morning and waking at 8.37 the next night, being a Monday. In a blackout I usually sleep all the period of it, not gain abnormal prowess. I think someone else was involved because [M] says 'someone' tore his clothes. He doesn't specifically name me! Plus he seemed to be getting all over Rockingham that night with someone. I think he mentions going to the beach at some stage. If I had 'kidnapped' this boy I certainly wouldn't be walking around town with him. His statement is simply too inconsistent all the way through. He says he went to several houses and changes that to only mine. It seems he did watch a porno movie and then accused me of doing everything he saw in it to him, unaware this was not possible. If he had simply stated what did in fact happen, and not needlessly add fancy stories of sexual stuff, the statement may be credible. Because I told the police I had no recollection of the night I believe I was nicely loaded with things I didn't do. I'm glad I wasn't in New York on September 11, 2001.
The Judge obviously regarded me highly suspect after reading [M's] story and was in a bad mind-set, even though I was never charged with raping him. Just the fact that [M] said I did these things seriously tainted the real story, which most certainly was not a whole night of depravity with a boy. I was damned by [M's] statement and did not know it. My only prior record of this sort of thing was when I never even touched a teenage boy; over 17 years ago. That is why I only received about a 2 month sentence. I have no record of violence or ill-treatment against anyone. I got myself out of an Autistic school when I was about 9 and again at age 35 (mental hospital).
All my life I have tried to make my life better even while slowly drinking myself to death because of unresolved issues in the past. I most certainly NEVER want to be alone with a kid again, so I can't be accused of anything.
I have always pleaded guilty when I have been caught doing wrong. This time I made a terrible mistake by assuming I had. I did not have a chance to properly defend myself by pleading guilty this time."