[25] You have asked me a range of questions about sexual abuse and memory, and I have addressed these.
[26] People subject to sexual abuse respond in a range of different ways which can range from falling in love with the abuser, ignoring abuse or exhibiting no outward change; to the other extreme of absconding or running away, self-harm, substance abuse and violence. The mother's response to her daughter's ([the complainant's]) disclosures of sexual abuse, as described, is not uncommon and relates to relational dynamics, cultural variables and the personality and character of the person making the disclosure. I would not consider [the complainant's] mother's denial that the abuse occurred to be uncommon.
[27] [The complainant] describes clearly that she was financially dependent upon her parents, unable to leave and that there were cultural expectations of remaining together as a family. She described that once her mother did not believe her, she sought to reduce attention to herself and remained living in the family home but vigilant towards her father and, by her account, cold towards him.
[28] Children subject to sexual abuse from their parents as a child are often intimidated or fearful that they will be harmed or others will be harmed, and the offending often carries an implicit or explicit threat that this will happen, that the person will not be believed and that harmful consequences will befall the child. Consequently, it is certainly not uncommon for sexually abused children to remain in the family home and to be fearful that disclosure will result in adverse consequences.
[29] You have asked me to address the relationship between deliberate self-harm and childhood sexual abuse. It is often considered that there is a causal association between experiences of childhood sexual abuse and self-harm. However, it should be remembered that sexual abuse is statistically common and self-harming behaviour including cutting is also statistically common. What is often clear is that feelings of self-loathing induced by being sexually abused may be partially relieved by self-harming behaviour.
[30] A delay in ceasing contact with an abusing parent may well be because of fear of adverse consequences, a desire not to split up the family or uncertainty whether the complaint will be believed. This is particularly understandable given that [the complainant's] earlier disclosure to her mother had not been believed.
[31] The sequence of events after which she stopped seeing her father were also, by [the complainant's] account, associated with her writing a letter to her father explaining her actions. Such actions may well be consistent with the complex emotional feelings associated with making a complaint to the police, a course of action which takes both courage and much consideration. It is likely that [the complainant] engaged in some deliberation before taking this course of action and had developed a rationale for the way in which she was doing it.
[32] Ambivalence about the person who has engaged in sexual abuse is very common. Given a child's emotional development, experiences of sexual abuse may be associated with confused feelings such as sexual arousal, love and guilt. Children subject to sexual abuse may feel, or be made to feel, that it is their failings which have led to the sexual abuse occurring or even be made to expect that it is normal. Consequently, people who have been sexually abused do not uniformly hate the abuser and may have a range of conflicted feelings involving often contrasting emotions, which they struggle to make sense of.[10]